The fact that it’s been so long that I’ve had sex and desperately want it makes dating awkward. One of us isn’t going to make the cut and the other will try to keep everything going. And I’m too uncomfortable with life to be either person.

I just need to sit in the corner and think about life

derinthemadscientist:

lectorel:

gaycrime:

wow The Onion is dropping a lot of truth for a work of satire

The onion isn’t satire. The onion is pure progressive rage with a thin satire coating.

So you’re saying it has layers?

derinthemadscientist:

lectorel:

gaycrime:

wow The Onion is dropping a lot of truth for a work of satire

The onion isn’t satire. The onion is pure progressive rage with a thin satire coating.

So you’re saying it has layers?

(Source: labryth)

chronicarus:

Spiders with water droplet hats are something I really needed to know about.

quimbycub:

willow-wanderings:

nedahoyin:

queenqueerqutie:


Martin Bauendahl

Real life vs Societal expectations

Wow..

Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. A few are super lucky and have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men.

Thank you for that. I never realized. Thanks.

quimbycub:

willow-wanderings:

nedahoyin:

queenqueerqutie:

Martin Bauendahl

Real life vs Societal expectations

Wow..

Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. A few are super lucky and have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.

Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.

Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.
So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men.

Thank you for that. I never realized. Thanks.

(Source: denicedenice)

itsgrannywinkle:

basically you win at life

itsgrannywinkle:

basically you win at life

conflicting:

my blog is an inconsistent piece of shit but at least i have fun

(Source: toddssteakhouse)

thehummusoffensive:

Whenever I lose a follower I always wonder what post they saw that made them go nope, fuck this guy.

I hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you’re unwanted.

Unknown (via h0lycake)

this is very important

(via errrinvia)

(Source: slugly)

jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire:

A National treasure

(Source: kates-bishops)

fishingboatproceeds:

hermionejg:

I love Sesame Street videos too much.

Unpopular opinion: The best show in the history of television is not I Love Lucy or Mad Men or The Sopranos or Breaking Bad or Seinfeld.

The best show in the history of television is Sesame Street.

irisvixen:

Wow my tampons encourage me more than my parents do

irisvixen:

Wow my tampons encourage me more than my parents do

themightyglamazon:

romanovan:

if anyone remembers the story that was making rounds a while back about a 19 year old discovering the solution to cleaning up the pacific garbage patch, that project launched a fundraider which now has 7 days to reach it’s goal.

crASHES THROUGH THE WALL BECAUSE I HEARD SOMEBODY NEEDED MONEY TO CLEAN THE OCEAN

railroadsoftware:

"hey bro why you got so many pens at your house?"
“steal em from work”
“why do you steal pens from your work”
“fuckin hate capitalism bro”

Coming from a state champion baker:

docholligay:

If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t. 

Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof. 

This concludes me attempting to be helpful.